The Poole Family: January 2014

It is 12:45 AM and I am laying here next to my sleeping babyboy wondering how to put the last week of our lives into words. I cannot describe the feeling of holding your child in your arms while he cannot breathe. I can literally say that the ER at MCG SAVED his life. Rewind...

Tuesday: Go to the doctor because he has been running a fever of 103, has a runny nose, and a cough. Dropped Emily off at school, and told his teachers Matt was sick. They said RSV had been going around and sure enough, Matt is diagnosed with RSV. He already has a history of wheezing since 6 months old. We had started the jet neb treatments the Monday before because he had started wheezing again, and he gets Flovent also for suspected "asthma", although they label it as reactive airway disease in a child his age. He was also started on oral steroids and an antibiotic for a right ear infection.
Wednesday: Won't eat very much and is breathing more labored than usual. Take him to the ER that evening, mainly because I am worried about dehydration. His oxygen levels are fine and, of course, he has a wet diaper on the way there. They have him do two breathing treatments in the room and send us home.
Thursday: After yet another sleepless night filled with breathing treatments and oral syringe feedings to try and keep him hydrated, he wakes up around 3pm with even more labored breathing. I give him a treatment back to back almost, put him in a hot shower with me, and then notice his lips look slightly blue around the mouth plus he is more lethargic. Questioning whether or not it's just me thinking he looks worse, Stephen and I take him by my mom's house for a second opinion. She takes one look at him and says, take him back to the ER. I was hesitant thinking they would just send us home again. Had I not taken my child to the ER that night, he very likely may have died at home. About an hour after arriving at the ER, he was unable to breathe on his own and was emergently intubated (breathing tube inserted), sedated, and placed on a ventilator for support. He was seen right away after the triage nurse looked at his breathing, fought the nurses when the put his IV in, fought the Respiratory therapist when she tried to put high flow oxygen on him, and then basically got too tired to breathe. I was HOLDING my child while he turned blue and was gasping/choking for air in my arms with my husband watching at my side. It seems unreal to even be typing this-- like it was a nightmare or something I experienced from work on the other side. I kept thinking this doesn't happen to my children, I'm the nurse in this situation!! I do this for a living. I literally was in disbelief and immediately started praying for God to take care of my baby. I could not watch them intubate him- I did not need that memory in addition to the one that tends to keep me awake. Had I not been where we were surrounded by knowledgeable staff, I really think he would and could have died. Had they not inserted the breathing tube in as quickly as they had, I think he would have required chest compressions. I have never been more scared before in my entire life. I have helped and supported many parents and families during difficult and emotional times with their babies... But this??? Being on this side of the equation? The panic that I experienced in waves afterwards? Being a mom does not compare to any experience I have had as a nurse. And I now know and can imagine what it felt like to be in their shoes.

They told us we would have to be transferred out to Macon because they did not have room for us in the PICU here. We stayed at MCG. They said he would be on the ventilator for a week-- he was able to be extubated in 3 days. He was on oxygen less than 24 hours after being taken off of the ventilator. We were moved out to the pediatric floor on Monday afternoon. He was lethargic and sick, but he could breathe on his own! He refused to eat, would not cry, would not talk, and had a vacant look to his eyes. I tube fed my baby throughout the next day/night, all the time offering a bottle to him which he refused. Wednesday night we got started on IV fluids for dehydration. Slowly but surely, his personality came back. By Thursday he was smiling and playing. Thursday afternoon, he said "mama" and reached for me for the first time since all of this had occurred. We had his swallowing tested and it showed he needed thickened liquids because he was aspirating into his lungs. That proved to be even more of a challenge with bottle feedings because he was not used to it. He started eating baby food like normal again. They let us go home on Friday without a tube with the plan for me to monitor his intake and output closely for dehydration. He would need to have a feeding tube on Monday if I couldn't get him to drink enough liquids. The most I had gotten him to take by mouth with a bottle before leaving the hospital was 5mL. Friday evening after arriving home, I sat in the rocking chair in his room where I normally feed him and offered him a bottle of thickened formula-- he drank 8oz and has continued to drink his bottles as usual despite everything. I am afraid that he is going to quit eating again, that this is just luck! But looking at him all day today, you would not even think he was sick a week ago. He is my perfectly normal, happy, busy, stubborn, sweet little Matt Matt.

I am again at a loss for words with how I feel. Thank you God for my baby. Thank you God for the people who saved my baby. Thank you God for the people who cared for my baby AND my family. Thank you God for healing my baby completely and wholly. Thank you to EVERYONE who prayed for my sweet baby. Our prayers were beyond answered and I am blessed beyond words. God put this experience into my path and Stephen's path for reasons unknown, but I have grown closer to God through this experience. Thank you to our families for taking care of our daughter and providing relief for us at the hospital so that Matt was never alone. I know this posting was probably hard to read for some, as it was also hard for me to type. If you are reading this, I know you prayed for us, so THANK YOU.

Pray without ceasing.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. Matthew 8:26